Before I Die –
Book Review
(Re-titled in the UK
as Now is Good)
Jenny Downham
YA Contemporary
Synopsis:
Tessa has just a few months to live.
Fighting back against hospital visits, endless tests, drugs with excruciating
side-effects, Tessa compiles a list. It’s her ‘To do before I die’ list. And
number one is sex.
Released from the constraints of ‘normal’ life, Tessa tastes new
experiences to make her feel alive while her failing body struggles to keep up.
Tessa’s feelings, her relationships with her father and brother, her estranged
mother, her best friend, her new boyfriend, are all painfully crystallised in
the precious weeks before Tessa’s time finally runs out.
Review:
This book was heartbreaking. The last few chapters I had to
read through tear blurred eyes, even though from the beginning, I knew there
would be no happy ending…
The story follows Tessa, a teenage girl diagnosed with Leukaemia,
who already knows she is in the final few months of her life. Rather than sit
at home, humoring her dad with his latest ‘google’ discovery of ways to
prolong her life, she calls up her best friend and makes a list. The top ten
things she is determined to do before she dies. Starting with sex.
Yet even as she tries her hand at drugs, shoplifting and
even fame, Tessa never expects to accomplish her last wish. To fall in love.
But then she meets Adam, and suddenly her world becomes a whole lot brighter. However
each day, Tessa feels her body failing and knowing her final sun set is fast approaching…
she wonders if she will have the courage to face her inevitable goodbye…
I did enjoy this book, although it took me almost halfway
before I truly got into the story. I didn't particularly like Tessa’s character
at first. I thought she seemed very detached from her feelings so I found it
hard to sympathize with her. This may have been a ploy on the authors’ part; perhaps
Tessa truly did dismiss her own feelings in order to better cope with the fate
dealt to her. Yet as soon as she starts having tantrums and more emotional
outbursts, that was when I feel you really connect with her and her situation.
Also watching how Tessa’s family and friends reacted to her
illness was both heart-wrenching and maddening. Her father is over protective,
her mother, unable-to-cope has an affair and appears only sporadically. Then
there is Tessa’s little brother, who was loving but still a little ignorant towards
her pending death. All these characters really impacted upon me the harsh reality
that the people whose loved ones have terminal illnesses face each day. I would
say some are just as brave as those who are dying.
Adam, particularly, was a really humane character. His dilemma
was that he didn’t want to have his heartbroken by falling in love with a dying
girl – not that his heart gave him much choice in the matter. However watching
him struggle with their relationship - especially as Tessa’s time draws closer
and she becomes frailer - was incredibly moving. Afraid to touch her, Adam
stays by her side throughout it all. Yet he also knows he must live on when she
is gone – and for him no one was a better teacher on how to ‘live’ life than
Tessa.
So although sad, it really is an enlightening book. One that
makes you consider the trials and sufferings of others. And teaches you to live
each day with a purpose by reminding us how short life can be. A really moving
read, I give Before I Die 3 ½ stars!
This book seems like it would gut me, but I'll have to read it. :) Wonderful review!
ReplyDeleteI read this book shortly before giving birth to my son. Pregnancy hormones + heartbreaking story meant I was wailing uncontrollably at 2am. Phew.
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